


Proper Ampora Man

by captain_vantass



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M, Humanstuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-07
Updated: 2015-03-07
Packaged: 2018-03-16 17:54:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3497474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/captain_vantass/pseuds/captain_vantass
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You didn't tell anyone, except your father. He approved with the first smile you've caused in years, and a hand clapped against your shoulder, hard enough to shake your torso and make you wince. "That's my boy." He'd drawled in that thick, gruff tone. "Proper Ampora man."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Home life was hard. 

Your father was strict, stern, and stubborn. Your brother was an imbecile. Your friends are replaceable. Your family was forgettable. There's one person in this whole damn town you'd stay for. 

And she wouldn't stay for you.

You made up your mind shortly after graduation. With that diploma in hand, you weren't sure what you'd do. You listened to your friends drone on about their plans. Ideas of moving from your small, coastal town. Dreams of reaching big cities, falling in love, getting famous. Blah Blah Blah.

You listened to her dreams. You've listened to them since the two of you were young, why would you stop now? Her voice is music to your ears, and you could listen for hours. You listen to her as she leans on him, as she holds his hand, as she kisses his lips--.

It was sickening. 

You excused yourself from your friends abruptly, startling the scrawny redhead who'd sat beside you, ("Watch it, Fuckwagon!") and storm off. You could feel the eyes on your back as you go, and wonder if hers are one of the pairs watching you go.

You didn't tell anyone, except your father. He approved with the first smile you've caused in years, and a hand clapped against your shoulder, hard enough to shake your torso and make you wince. "That's my boy." He'd drawled in that thick, gruff tone. "Proper Ampora man." 

You forced a smile and replied with a robotic "Yes sir, I took your talks to heart." Which makes him chuckle.

You can tell in the way he praises you, he's glad that you're not like your brother. A drop out, a lowlife. An asshole, who hasn't called home in weeks and living off the tips he gets at the club. (Your father spits his name like venom. You think he hasn't called home. You wouldn't know.) 

A disappointment.

You continue life as normal for the next few weeks. She stays with him. Sometimes, when you ask her to do something. (See a movie? Go to the beach? Get a coffee?) She tells you she can't. She's busy. She's with him. God, it makes your stomach churn.

He doesn't deserve her, and he never will.

She's her own person, however. So you never tried to butt in. Sure, you spit things to him. Talked shit to her. But you never tried to break them up. You used your freedom of speech, and that was all. She's confident and smart, and damn it all, she's so fuckin' beautiful. She'll do just fine.

She was supposed to be able to manage just fine.

But when you tell her you're leaving, she looks confused. When you tell her where you're going she gets angry. 

You can see the moment when she calculates what you mean when you say "I'm makin' my dad proud of me." It processes in her eyes, (God, you'll never forget how beautiful her eyes are.) then melts into the rest of her expression.

"You asshole!" She shouts, pushing your shoulder. "You asshole-How dare you!" She is pissed. You haven't heard her voice crack like that in years. Hell, you don't even remember the last time you've seen her angry. Let alone this badly. She pushes you a few times, and you go with each shove automatically, stepping backwards each time. You don't speak, you let her get this off her chest. She needs it.

"You never wanted to do-do that!" She's shouting still, your ears are almost ringing. "Why now-What made you change your mind? Why would you--"

You cut her off. 

You don't use words. You do what you've been dying to do since you were eleven and you first noticed the way the sun reflects perfectly in her eyes, how every hair on her head falls perfectly in place, and her laughter makes your heart melt. The first day you realized you'd walk to the ends of the Earth to make her happy.

You kiss her. You grab her hands, hold them gently, and pull her to you. And you kiss her.

You know in the way she tenses that was the last thing she expected, so you make it last for a few more moments. The last good memory to get you through boot camp.

When you step back, there are tears glossing her eyes. She's struggling for words she can't quite find, and you're waiting for her to return to shouting. Only to shout at you for your affection, spit the words you've heard in the back of your mind every time you imagined your first kiss. But she doesn't shout. The tears roll down her cheeks, and her voice lowers to a faint, soft whisper that you barely catch.

"Don't leave me." 

She's the only person in this town you love, but she doesn't love you. Not in the way you wish she does. The way you stay up at night, dreaming about. 

When you leave, she's at the airport to see you off. She's the only one. You said goodbye to your father at home, and you doubt your brother even knows you're going.

She's alone, with tears running down her cheeks in a way that makes your heart ache. The last time she cried was at a funeral. It broke your heart then, it breaks your heart now. You want to punch the asshole who made her cry dead in the stomach, so you settle for digging your nails into your palms. You can't cry too.

She wraps her arms around you. You're ready for the hug. 

You're not ready for the kiss, or the way she whispers in your ear. "I'll miss you." 

You force a small smile and tell her you'll miss her too. 

Before you leave, she stops you. She takes the old locket off, the one you gave her when you were both little. The one she hasn't stopped wearing since. She holds out to you, giving her the full smile.

"So you don't forget me."

You pull her against you and kiss her like you've seen in the movies. It feels a little silly, but the way she smiles after. The way her cheeks turn a soft pink. It makes you relax. 

"I'll never forget you." 

And you don't.

"Come home safe, Eridan.."

But you don't.

It's three days after she's gotten the news. She's cried her self to sleep every one of them. She's devastated, heartbroken. But that's what you wanted, wasn't it? You wanted her to miss you when you were gone. And now you are.

On the third afternoon, she gets your letter in the mail. The first one you sent home.

The only one.

You spill your heart to her. You confess everything. You tell her every little secret. The little ones, the big ones. You tell her the exact moment you fell in love with her and the first time she broke your heart. 

You sign your letter with I love you, and the locket taped to the bottom.

You never expected to go home, did you?


	2. Chapter 2

You're scared.

You've got a gun in your hand that kicks so hard it bruises your shoulder and a uniform that looks like a target. In your breast pocket you slipped a picture of her. You remember that day with crystal clarity and remembering it makes your heart thunder a little softer, easier to breathe.

You hear her laughter ringing through your ears and her hand on your shoulder. "Come on, guppy, you can do this!" 

Your sweaty hands tighten around your gun. Your teeth grit together and you exhale shakily. 

You can do this.

You follow your captain's orders to a T. Each instruction is followed with robotic precision and a mental "Yes Sir." 

You never held much respect for the man. His breath reeked of booze and his face always had stubble, like he didn't care enough to keep himself tidy. But he deserved better. He led your troop along, silent steps suddenly turned explosive. You were knocked off your feet. Far enough back that the worst of the damage was your skull thudding against the ground and an ungodly ringing in your ears. 

No one noticed you go down. You're not surprised. There's too much gunfire, too much shouting. Someone's trying to gain control, navigate your troop. Save all your asses. Their words enter your ears in a garbled mess, and as you struggle to sit up you realize suddenly that there is a burning pain through your arm that makes you cry out.

"Aw, come on! It doesn't hurt that bad!"

Blood rolls down your skin and coats your fingers red. You almost don't process that it's yours. There's small bits of shrapnel embedded in your shoulder. So you are wounded. You work through the pain anyway to raise your weapon, biting back the tears that burn in your eyes. 

Your hand doesn't reach the gun. 

You're knocked back abruptly by a force pegging you square in the opposite shoulder. You manage a choked, whimper of a sound. Another one hits you. Somewhere in your stomach. Your eyes widen and your mouth hangs open.

"Close your mouth, silly, you look like a fish!"

You do. You close your mouth, and then your eyes as you double over. Everything hurts so badly. You want to throw up. Tears stream down your face and all you can think of is the fact you'll never see Her.

Her smile, her laugh, her hair, her eyes.

God Damn, you want to see her eyes.

"Eridan, you doofus, get up!" 

You try. You really do. But everything hurts so bad, you end up on your face in the mud. You barely manage to turn over so you don't suffocate in the dirt. 

God, you're going to die in the dirt like an animal.

You groan a little, because it's the best sound you can manage that isn't a pathetic sob. You don't want to die here. You don't want to die like this. This was a mistake, God how could you be so stupid? You've known all along you weren't cut out for this, and yet.

You inhale shakily as your blood stains the Earth beneath you. You don't process the world around you. Not as you should. You're laying on your back, in a country who's name you hardly know. Staring at a sky that isn't yours. Bleeding on dirt that isn't home.

Home.

You want to go home. It's a pathetic thought that stirs a tremble through your entire body. You want to go home. You want to go home. You want to crawl in through Feferi's window and watch her face pull into that laugh as she tells you to just "Use the door, doofus!" You want to whine right back to her that this is "More fun, buzzkill!" You want her to hug you so tight your ribs her and to crawl into her bed together. You want to watch those stupid fucking movie's all over again, just so you can hold her close and feel her fall asleep against you. You'd give anything in the world to go home.

You can almost see her. 

You focus on the mental image and try to bring it into focus, but all that comes is her eyes. 

They're blue. The brilliant sort of blue that glints across the ocean on a clear day and breaks your heart when it storms. 

Your chest heaves and oxygen becomes hard to gather, so you keep thinking about her. 

You try to move your arm, crying out with the pain it causes. You want to grab that locket, the one she gave back to you. By the time you manage to get your arm to your chest, you remember it isn't there. You sent it home.

Right.

You don't have the energy to fumble the picture from your pocket. Part of you worries that it's stained, that it's ruined. Leave it to you to have your dying actions be ruining something She gave you.

"Don't be so hard on yourself, you're a really great guy!"

You whine. The sound that comes out is her name. Broken by your sobs, distorted by your gasping. You'd kill just to see her again.

And here you are, dying for her.

Her voice rings through her ears as your desperate breaths falter. When trying to breathe becomes to much and the darkness starts to numb the burning pain throughout your body. 

"I love you!" 

You smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leaves from the vine  
> So far from mother tree  
> Travelling endlessly  
> Into destiny
> 
> Little soldier boy  
> Come marching home  
> Please, soldier boy  
> Come marching home
> 
> -www.songstowearpantsto.com/songs/leaves-from-the-vine/


End file.
